Cloud Busting Read online

  My heart stomping in my chest

  And all I could see was

  Davey’s smile.

  And in that moment, I hated that smile

  Almost as much as I hated Davey

  Because he’d saved my life

  And then he made it worse.

  He said, ‘Your life belongs to me now.’

  And he had a strange look on his face.

  ‘What d’you mean?’ I hissed at him.

  And Davey smiled his smile.

  ‘I have to take care of you

  Make sure no harm comes to you.

  I have to look after you

  Your life belongs to me.

  I have to show you things

  I have to teach you things

  I have to be with you

  Your life belongs to me.’

  ‘Get real!’ I scoffed.

  ‘My life belongs to you?

  Yeah, right!’ But inside,

  Inside I was scared.

  Davey’s smile did it.

  How I wished he’d stop smiling.

  For just five minutes, five seconds.

  I stormed off.

  Anything to get away from him

  But Davey ran after me.

  ‘Look at that,’ he pointed.

  ‘A blunt rainbow.’

  ‘A what?’ I looked up.

  I couldn’t help it.

  And I saw something

  I’d never noticed before.

  The short, sharp burst of rain

  Had turned to drizzle,

  Drops shining like pearls

  Through the sunlit air

  And a muted rainbow

  Danced in and out

  Of the scattered, grey-white clouds.

  A blunt rainbow.

  And it was like

  My eyes weren’t my eyes

  But Davey’s.

  And it was like

  My mind wasn’t my own

  But Davey’s.

  And it was like

  Nothing I’d ever felt before.

  My head was full of words

  That I’d never used before.

  I could see things in the rain

  And the clouds and the sky

  That weren’t there before.

  Or maybe I’d just

  Never noticed them before.

  I didn’t like it – at all.

  So I ran

  And ran

  And ran

  And ran

  And ran

  And ran

  To school

  Away from him.

  SHADOW

  After that, Davey became

  My shadow.

  He followed me around

  Like my shadow.

  In front of my friends

  He was still Fizzy Feet.

  But when it was just us two

  He became Davey.

  Davey who cracked such bad jokes

  That I couldn’t help laughing.

  And he said, ‘Your smile is so big,

  It’s going to fall off your face.’

  Davey who said my mum’s cooking

  Tasted of sunshine and rainbows.

  And made her grin

  And strut like a peacock.

  ‘What a sweet boy that Davey is!’

  Said Mum. She admired his taste.

  Davey who said Dad’s home-made table

  Was the best he’d ever seen

  Even though Mum said a silent prayer

  Whenever she put anything on it

  Heavier than a chocolate biscuit.

  As a table it was a dead loss.

  ‘What a smart boy that Davey is!’

  Said Dad. He admired Davey’s sense.

  And when we were alone

  When it was just Davey and me

  He’d ask, ‘D’you know what stars are?

  Stars are holes in the floor of heaven.’

  He’d ask, ‘D’you know what dreams are?

  Dreams are a way for us to live two lives.’

  ‘Huh?’ I frowned, my mouth turned down.

  What was he talking about? Did he even know?

  ‘I read about a man,’ said Davey,

  ‘Who once dreamt that he was a butterfly.

  Butterfly, flutter by

  Gently with the breeze

  As it blows you with its ease

  Through the flowers, past the trees

  So butterfly, flutter by

  Flutter by, butterfly.’

  ‘Did you make that up?’ I asked,

  Wondering how we’d got onto this subject.

  ‘Yes, I did,’ smiled Davey.

  ‘It shows,’ I replied sourly.

  Davey grinned at me. ‘So anyway,

  This man once dreamt he was a butterfly

  And he woke up and wondered

  If he was a man who’d dreamt

  He was a butterfly. Or a butterfly

  Who was now dreaming he was a man.’

  ‘Davey, where d’you get this stuff from?

  You’re making my head hurt,’ I groaned.

  ‘I read it, see it, think it, hear it, taste it …’

  ‘Taste it?’

  ‘What’s your favourite food?’ Davey asked.

  ‘Roast lamb – the way my mum makes it –

  And rice. And roast parsnips

  The way my mum makes them.’

  I licked my lips at the thought.

  ‘And what does it taste like?’ asked Davey.

  I frowned. ‘Roast lamb and rice tastes like …

  Roast lamb and rice.’

  ‘Use your imagination,’ Davey urged.

  ‘When you eat it, how does it make you feel?

  What does it remind you of?

  What thoughts enter your head as you eat?’

  I considered. ‘I think, what lovely

  Roast lamb and rice!’

  ‘Doesn’t it taste like star beams on your tongue?

  Or daydreams in your mouth?

  Or wishes down your throat?

  Or happiness in your stomach? Or …’

  ‘Or a headache in my brain,’ I grumbled.

  Davey was really making my head hurt.

  ‘There’s more than one way

  To look at something,’ said Davey, adding,

  ‘I know you think I’m different,

  Unique, special, individual …’

  ‘The word I’m thinking of is “weird”!’ I said.

  Davey grinned, ‘Well, I’m glad.

  The worse thing in the world –

  No, the worse thing in the universe

  Would be to look and walk and talk

  And think like everyone else.’

  I looked at Davey then

  Really looked at him.

  And I realized something strange.

  He meant every word.

  And even though talking to Davey

  Sometimes did my head in,

  At least he had something to say

  A way that was all his own.

  I guess what I’m trying to say is

  He wasn’t the least bit boring.

  Alex and I talked about football,

  And other sports.

  Football results

  And films sometimes.

  Football players

  And girls sometimes.

  Football tactics

  And school sometimes.

  But mainly football

  Mostly football.

  Davey and I talked about

  The Earth as a football

  The stars as spectators.

  Girls as aliens

  Teachers as robots

  Or nut-bags, or demons.

  Films to walk into,

  Books to hold onto

  Music to live for,

  Eminem and Mozart

  Jobs to grow up for,

  Dreams to stay young with.

  Davey and I talked about

  Anything and ev
erything.

  I tried to be careful

  I really and truly did

  But people started to notice

  That we were sometimes together,

  Often together,

  Always together.

  My best friend Alex said,

  ‘You’re spending a lot of time

  With Fizzy Feet.

  What’s that about?’

  ‘I can’t stand him,’ I panicked.

  ‘So why would I hang around with him?

  He’s a first class, grade A,

  Top-of-the-dung-heap moron.’

  And Alex started laughing at something,

  Someone behind me.

  And I turned

  And there was Davey

  And he’d heard every word.

  He didn’t say anything

  He just walked away.

  And Alex was still laughing.

  And I looked at Alex

  And I looked at Davey walking away

  And at that moment

  I had to choose

  To choose between the kind of boy I was

  And the kind of boy I wanted to be.

  I chose to stay with Alex.

  I watched Davey walk away

  And I knew I was making the wrong choice

  But my feet wouldn’t move.

  I didn’t want Alex and my mates

  To laugh at me as well

  So I stayed with Alex

  And watched Davey walk away.

  And then I realized

  That Davey wasn’t my shadow

  It was the other way round.

  SORRY

  I walked home

  All alone

  Thinking, ‘Dave, I’m sorry.

  That wasn’t nice.’

  My mum’s advice?

  ‘Go and say you’re sorry.’

  I told her, ‘No.

  I will not go

  And tell him that I’m sorry.’

  ‘But it was mean.

  You should be keen

  To let him know you’re sorry.’

  I dug in my heels

  Despite appeals

  To admit that I was sorry.

  ‘There’s no TV,

  No treats for tea

  Until you say you’re sorry.’

  ‘I’m sorry now

  You rotten cow!

  Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!’

  I had a shout.

  Now there’s no doubt

  That I am very, very,

  Very, very, very

  Very sorry.

  NO BIG DEAL

  The next day Davey

  Passed my door

  Without stopping.

  I ran out and said

  ‘Wait up, Davey.’

  But he kept walking.

  And there I was

  Running after him

  And he wouldn’t stop.

  So by the time I

  Reached him

  I was puffed

  And annoyed

  With both him

  And me.

  ‘Didn’t you hear

  Me calling you?’

  I ranted between

  Gasps to fill my lungs.

  And he looked at me

  Just looked at me

  And I spent a lifetime

  Which lasted no more

  Than a second

  Thinking about all

  The things he could say

  To me

  In response

  In reply,

  All the things I deserved

  To hear.

  But he smiled,

  Just smiled

  And said, ‘Hi.’

  I felt strange – embarrassed.

  I looked away,

  But didn’t walk away.

  I caught sight of

  Davey’s break box

  In his hand.

  He’d started his break early.

  Like just after breakfast.

  ‘What’ve you got?’ I asked,

  Digging into my bag

  For my own break box.

  I opened mine up

  So we could both look

  And compare snacks.

  He had carrot sticks,

  A thick chunk of cucumber,

  Bread sticks

  Grapes

  And an apple.

  I had salt and vinegar crisps

  Chocolate buttons

  A packet of peanuts

  And an apple.

  ‘I’ll swap you my peanuts

  For your cucumber,’

  I said.

  I love cucumber.

  It’s the only green thing

  I’ll eat.

  ‘I can’t eat peanuts,’

  said Davey. ‘I’m allergic.’

  I frowned.

  I didn’t really get it.

  ‘I’m allergic to peanuts,’

  said Davey. ‘But I’ll swap you

  Your packet of

  Chocolate buttons

  For all my cucumber.’

  ‘Fifteen buttons,’

  I haggled.

  ‘The packet has probably

  Only got ten in it

  In the first place,’

  Davey pointed out.

  So I gave him the packet

  And took his cucumber.

  And we carried on

  Munching and crunching

  As we walked.

  ‘Don’t tell anyone

  About my allergy,’

  Said Davey after a while.

  ‘Why not?’ I asked.

  ‘I don’t want a fuss,’

  Shrugged Dave.

  ‘Promise me

  You won’t tell.’

  So I promised.

  No problem.

  No big deal.

  But the promise

  Left my mouth

  Escaped my mind

  Fizzled out

  Sizzled out

  And I forgot it.

  Pure forgot it.

  Clean forgot it.

  Left it.

  Lost it.

  Just forgot it.

  BIG MISTAKE

  I told Alex

  Big Mistake

  About Davey’s allergy

  Big Mistake

  ‘How allergic is he?’

  Big Mistake

  ‘I don’t know,’ I said.

  Big Mistake

  ‘He didn’t run away screaming

  Big Mistake

  From my packet of peanuts

  Big Mistake

  If that’s what you mean.’

  Big Mistake

  I was sorry I spoke.

  Big Mistake

  ‘I might’ve guessed,

  Big Mistake

  That he’d have more

  Big Mistake

  Than his fizzy feet wrong with him,’

  Big Mistake

  said Alex, scornfully.

  Big Mistake

  ‘My cousin Gennifer has an allergy,’

  Big Mistake

  Said Pete thoughtfully. ‘She’s very allergic

  Big Mistake

  To cat hairs. They make her sneeze and sneeze.’

  Big Mistake.

  ‘Sneeze, eh,’ said Alex just as thoughtfully.

  Big Mistake

  And I thought, ‘Oh no! I know that look.

  Big Mistake

  He’s just had an idea. He’s going to do something to Davey.’

  Big Mistake

  Telling him about Davey’s allergy was a

  BIG MISTAKE.

  TOO HOT

  My world was too hot.

  The country was too hot.

  The city was too hot.

  The street was too hot.

  The school was too hot.

  The classroom was too hot.

  My clothes were too hot.

  My skin was too hot.

  My blood was too hot.

  Watching Alex whisper and laugh
<
br />   With Pete, was making my insides

  Too hot.

  JUST A JOKE

  ‘Hi, Davey,’ said Alex.

  ‘Would you like one of my crisp sandwiches?’

  Davey looked up from his break box,

  Surprised.

  He wasn’t the only one.

  I looked at Alex

  Surprised and suspicious

  Suspicious and surprised.

  Alex wasn’t usually nice to Davey.

  What was he up to?

  ‘What flavour crisps?’ Davey asked

  Through a smile big enough

  To turn upside down and

  Shelter under, out of the rain.

  Alex was talking to him

  Alex was offering to share a sandwich with him.

  Davey was so happy.

  My insides were about to melt.

  ‘Cheese and onion,’ said Alex. ‘My mum

  Makes them special. You’ll love them.’

  ‘Yes, please,’ said Davey.

  Davey reached out for the sandwich

  Alex held out to him.

  ‘Oh no,’ said Alex. ‘I’ll hold it.

  Your hands might not be clean.

  You can eat half and

  I’ll have the other half.

  That’s fair, isn’t it?’

  I stood up, my heart dive-bouncing

  Like a bungee jumper.

  ‘Yes, that’s fair,’ said Davey.

  And he took a bite. One bite.

  And he chewed with a smile.

  And swallowed with a frown.

  And the whole class watched.

  The very air held its breath.

  As Davey started to cough.

  And Alex cracked up laughing.

  And Davey coughed harder.

  And Alex laughed more.

  But then the laughing stopped,

  As Davey’s hands flew to his throat

  Tearing at his skin

  Clawing at the invisible hands

  Choking him from the inside out.

  His face erupted in red blotches.

  The whites of his eyes were turning red

  He couldn’t breathe.

  He fell to his knees, his eyes on me,

  And Alicia screamed.

  Lucy ran to get help,

  Claudia started to shriek.

  Martin shouted at Alex.

  ‘It was only one peanut,’ cried Alex.

  ‘I only put one peanut in there.

  It was just a joke.

  I thought he’d sneeze.

  It was just a joke.’

  Davey fell on his side, his eyes on me.

  And was still.

  I ran over to Davey

  To loosen his shirt collar

  But it was already undone

  And Davey was so still.

  Mr Mackie ran into the room

  Holding a fat, grey pen.

  He pushed us out of the way

  And took the top off the pen

  Before jamming the other end

  Into Davey’s thigh.

  ‘Come on, Davey. Please,’

  Begged Mr Mackie.

  But Davey was so still.

  Mr Mackie kept the pen

  Against Davey’s thigh

  For long, long seconds.